Trying to 1-up Everyone all the Time

...often backfires.

The McDonalds on Ponce is generally open late night. The cats working the late shift are not the sort who would have their picture plastered on mcdonalds.com. Most look like they're 45 minutes away from hitting the pipe and passing out under a bridge or the City Hall East stairs in true Ponce fashion.

So when I ask for some ketchup and they tell me it's a quarter, I'm guessing they're pocketing that quarter. This isn't Europe. This is 'merica. Kethup, mustard, and mayo are free no matter how much you want, goddamnit. So I ask for a receipt. Usually they grunt and just give me the ketchup for free rather than ring it up.

But every once in a while you get some fucker who spends 15 minutes trying to figure out how to ring up a ketchup packet...